watch me bloom

I want to move in the direction of my fears. I want to fully speak my truth. I want to speak up against injustice regardless of the risks. I used to leave countless words unsaid out of fear, worry, doubt, and to protect myself. Life is too short to say silent though. And as Audre Lorde wrote, “My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you.”

That quotation comes from Lorde’s essay, The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action. Here are other note-worthy excerpts from that essay as well:

“I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. That the speaking profits me, beyond any other effect.” 

***

“What are the words you do not yet have? What do you need to say? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence?” 

***

“And of course I am afraid, because the transformation of silence into language and action is an act of self-revelation, and that always seems fraught with danger. But my daughter, when I told her of our topic and my difficulty with it, said, ‘Tell them about how you’re never really a whole person if you remain silent because there’s always that one little piece inside you that wants to be spoken out.”

***

“We have been socialized to respect fear more than our own needs for language.”

***

“It is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence. And there are so many silences to be broken.”

–Audre Lorde

Affirmation: I deserve to express myself fully in the world.

I am working on aspects of full expression each day in my practice. I approach my interactions with others with the intention of being present, available, and authentic in their company, not hiding or holding back out of fear or habit. I observe the moments where I most want to retreat inside of myself and reflect on what need is not being met in those situations and what I can do to make myself feel more safe and secure in those moments.

I hit the reset button each morning, preferably each moment, and practice loving kindness to myself if a situation arises where I am not as available as I would like. I begin again and again and again knowing that I have nothing that I have to hide or be ashamed of in sharing myself with the world.

Affirmation: I reject any attachment to people’s reaction when I express myself.

I do not have to silence or censor myself in an effort to placate others. I am here to live my truth and to share it freely. I am here to be the most authentic version of myself possible. I am here to inhabit the deepest expression of love available to me in each moment and share that with others.

I plant seeds of self-worth, self-love, and acceptance and I see them bloom into flowers rooted from the foundation of my body at my feet and reaching their most open state in my throat. I visualize these flowers when I speak. There is no room for fear with all this life and growth flowing through my essence.

—Lissa E.

(This post is an updated version of a post that appeared on lissabliss.com)

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