dark chocolate candy land

photo by jessi.

***

i sat beside his chair every night for as long as he would let me
his eyes stayed so still it didn’t seem like he ever blinked
the air slowly squeezed in and out of his chest like his body
was in a constant struggle with life his cheek leaned against his hand
so loosely that it seemed like his head might droop onto the mahogany table
the grooves so thick in the wood that the table could split into two
splintering slowly like the mind of a person longing for love

he would stare at the ceiling for hours his arms clenched around his body
so tightly that i think he forgot i was there watching him
he whispered her name softly his eyes racing back and forth
across the ceiling as though they were chasing after something

i stroked my hand against his cheek and he stared at me
the wild haunted glaze in his eyes disappearing behind dark chocolate walls
his lips slowly curved into a mechanical grin
like we were strangers meeting for the first time in a fantasy world
where people and pain stayed behind their assigned walls
as he ran his fingers through my hair and told me to go to bed

—Lissa E.

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Published by lissa e.

Lissa's offerings include integrative mental health care, meditation and movement (yoga, qigong, intuitive) guidance, writings, and community facilitation offered in a compassionate, trauma-responsive, and racial and social justice-oriented framework as part of a lifelong mission to reduce suffering for all beings.

13 thoughts on “dark chocolate candy land

  1. The title of this is wonderful. I really like the way this focuses on arms, hands and fingers there’s a real sense of humanity in these images, of human suffering.

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  2. i feel the awe of childhood here.. those times in all of our lives,, when our parents were not mere human beings,,, but gods…. amazing write lissa…

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  3. An amazing prose piece, I think of a husband whose beloved wife has left him suddenly, and his daughter trying her best to somehow console him. you are so expert at
    getting to and writing the heartwood Lissa.

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  4. I can’t decide if the person is dying or just in a bad psychological state, still your words created such an intimate moment in time it makes me a little sad

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  5. “the grooves so thick in the wood that the table could split into two
    splintering slowly like the mind of a person longing for love”

    Beautiful, Lissa. Of course, I expect nothing but from you. You’re an amazing writer.

    Like

  6. thanks everyone. i really, really appreciate your comments. 🙂 i wasn’t sure about the piece and about posting it; my writing well hasn’t been very fruitful lately.

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