you always seem to escape me

my old apartment had a spot on the living room floor that radiated warmth. it probably was in close proximity to a radiator in the apartment below mine, but i liked to think that it existed for the sheer pleasure of my feet’s touch.

i would trace my feet along its boundaries, feel the divide between warmth and cold, and wonder if it was a love story meant for only a few tiles to share. it didn’t matter that the whole room wanted to be loved. i wanted to be loved.

every time i rediscovered it, it put my entire body at ease. sometimes, i would lay my whole body on the floor. the warmth could hold my hands, cheek, chest, and the beginning inches of my waist all at once.

i would curl my body as tightly into the fetal position as i could and try to contain the warmth. slowly, my body would start to shake. it was time to let go, and this fact never changed no matter how much i struggled. it always escaped me too soon, and the cold would run up my spine like a shiver.

—Lissa E.

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Published by lissa e.

Lissa's offerings include integrative mental health care, meditation and movement (yoga, qigong, intuitive) guidance, writings, and community facilitation offered in a compassionate, trauma-responsive, and racial and social justice-oriented framework as part of a lifelong mission to reduce suffering for all beings.

10 thoughts on “you always seem to escape me

  1. cute story… reminds me of that warm spot on the bed, right after my husband had just gotten up… such the coziest spot ever.


  2. This one is gorgeous, special. I was looking for that one which is very straight prose with I think it was Paris and the baby? Like a letter and it had the letter ‘S’ in it, but you haven’t got a search widget, oh well, I will come and have another look after work. This one, curling about around the radiant warmth though, breathtaking.


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